By Marc Thaler
Sports Editor

Put a fork in him. Keith Foulke is officially cooked. Well done, to be specific.

The pitcher, who pulled the string on a sensational changeup rendering him virtually untouchable during last year’s playoff run, pulled the plug on the follow-up tour.

Since the current campaign is ongoing, the decision to have Foulke call it quits is technically premature. But the belief in Red Sox Nation – and likely among several Sox players – is Foulke’s final ’05 appearance came not a moment too soon.

The demise of this soon-to-be 33-year-old is truly baffling. Close to a year ago, this reliever could’ve been the Fall Classic’s Most Valuable Player. Now, he’s a lock to be named baseball’s Most Vocal Pouter when the ballots are counted.

In any walk of life, individuals display their true colors when adversity strikes. How an individual handles himself when times are tough speaks volumes about his character. It’s something that can’t accurately be measured when life is a giant party, the case during Boston’s eight-game run to the title.

Based on his behavior and attitude during the last few months, Foulke is indeed a fraud.

The former Boston closer made it painfully clear he doesn’t enjoy his job; if he had his way, he’d be a starting pitcher rather than a stopper. But that’s misleading because Foulke isn’t even a big fan of baseball, so it’s unclear why it matters how he’s used as a pitcher.

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If you dislike your job, does it matter whether you throw the game’s first pitch or last?

Of course, this unstable pitcher also has the propensity to play The Blame Game.

During his six months of struggles on the mound, Foulke constantly spewed nonsense. His biggest gripe? The media only mentions him when he fails to effectively do his job. Furthermore, Foulke claims to be an extremely private person, who doesn’t enjoy the nonstop scrutiny associated with being a member of the Red Sox.

Boo-hoo – with extreme emphasis on Boo. Someone please hand this guy a hanky.

Talk about a warped sense of reality. It’s so aggravating, it’s laughable. Without question, Foulke is preparing for his next life as pavement because he’s a one-way street.

Perhaps confidence wasn’t the only thing Foulke lost between the ears this year. Much like Boston’s 5-1/2 game lead in the American League East, his memory clearly faded.

To review, Foulke was Red Sox royalty last fall, plain and simple.

As a clutch closer, he was praised from here to the high hardball heavens for his postseason accomplishments, which made him more deserving of the World Series MVP than Manny Ramirez. To say he’s only the topic of discussion when bad goes to worse shows Foulke is a fool.

Strike one.

The issue of privacy also frosts Foulke. Namely, he hasn’t had any since signing with the Sox.

Well, apparently, Foulke’s privacy, too, has its price.

Nobody forced Foulke to relocate from the West Coast. He could’ve declined the extra dough offered by Boston.

Rather than taking the $21 million from the Sox, he could’ve accepted less to remain in Oakland, Calif. He could’ve continued to play the game in the Bay Area, and left his celebrity status in the clubhouse when every contest concluded.

Newsflash: Boston is a different beast. Ironically, Foulke didn’t have any gripes when he was posing for pictures in duck boats along Boylston Street.

Strike two.

Then, there’s the matter of playing through pain – the product of a bad left knee, which ultimately landed Foulke on the disabled list after blowing a save in Texas this summer.

It’s impossible to feel sorry for this athlete, considering he could’ve corrected his problem in the off-season. Instead, he chose to put surgery to the side, ultimately hurting his team.

Strike three.

Funny how a pitcher who lost the skill to retire opposing batters managed to strike himself out.